I mount up on wings like eagles and soar
It’s the promise He has made
The Almighty God of my fate
I am a lion, hear me ROAR!

Even if the fig trees have no blossom
I was chosen from the womb
I will not play possum
On my knees in my room
A prayer warrior is being groomed
Digging myself out
From underneath the ground
Being exhumed

Faith overcomes me
The shackles that have bound me flee
Reborn, remade and renamed
Taken from shame
Bought by the blood
Taken out of the mud
With no guilt nor shame
He gave me a new name
And called me His
Now I’m free

He says my child be patient
Your victory awaits ya
No weapon formed against your shall prosper
There is no other
Be still and know that I am God
I will pave roads untrod
For you to walk in
I’ll make your head spin

I go before you, do not fear
I will hold you near
Do as I command
Now, hold my hand
I am the God of Abraham

There’s a long winding road
You will not tire, you will not be cold
Do as you’re told
You will not bend, break or fold
You will stand tall, you will be bold

I give you my presence
You have my essence
You have my anointing
The journey will not be disappointing
I am not man, that I should lie
Look to the sky
Look to the heavens where your help comes from
Your help comes from Me
From you, darkness will flee

You will have victory over your war
You will say, me and my house
we will serve the Lord

Poem By: Kamylah Alyxah Santana

All things are lessons God would have me learn. It is in that spirit, that I thank God for all my hardships, struggles, failures, disappointments, rough patches and truly bad moments in my life. I am so grateful for all of it. They are all life lessons, which I have learned and grown tremendously from. None of us would ever learn to appreciate the sunny days, if not for the cloudy days. Withou the bad times, we wouldn’t be able to wholeheartedly appreciate the good times. Thank God for the tough times. They make the good times so much better and more meaningful. With that said, however, I sure am thankful that my rough patch is over. I had very many years of bad and now the good is showing up in my life. I’m so glad that the bad has passed. I’m so blessed to have been able to have the opportunity to see God’s light shine through in the middle of so much darkness and grab a hold of it and become lifted up by it. God has grabbed me by the hand and taken me out of any trace of darkness. It’s tremendous what God has been doing in my life. There are many blessings to be had. I am forever grateful to the Almighty God. He has truly set me free and broken the many chains that bound me. 

I would’ve given my life to have been a part of this event. I think I saw Jesus waking around on this video somewhere hehe I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself if I were there. Had I been there, when Patti Labelle took the mic, I would’ve literally fallen out; right before my spirit went to heaven. I think I would’ve died; and an amazingly happy death at that. Love this. 

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not evil, plans for a future and a hope.” 

Jeremiah 29:11 

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the will of God, which is good, pleasing and perfect.” 

Romans 12:2 

What is meant to be for me is awaiting me. I want the will of God because it is good, pleasing and perfect. I have faith that everything I seek shall find me in due time. I truly believe this in my heart of hearts. Just because things don’t work out the way you wish, it doesn’t mean you close yourself off and quit trying. One day things will work out. It will all have been for the best! 

My name is Gemini
I’m always high
Never on drugs, but on life itself
I am two people in one
Those are the cards I’ve been dealt
I don’t believe in astrology, but it’s eerily accurate
According to it, I’m a nut basket
If I’m being a fool, I am pretending
The mind games of an intellect are never ending
I am water, I am fire
I am contempt, I am desire
I am hot and cold, new and old
I’m crazy, so I’m told
I am attention and neglect
I am perfection and defect
I am solitude in a crowd
I am a crowd when no one’s around
I am pure entertainment
In terms of goals, I am an attainment
Always represented by the twin sign
Castor and Pollux sharing the divine
I’m not sure how it was started but the legend goes
Two people in one; both friend and foe
two mortals granted shared godhood after death
I will still remain alive after my last breath
I am darkness and light and waterfall
I am sweet and bitter and methanol
Consumption of me can get you very sick
But my toxicity evaporates very quick
I am a breath of fresh air and clean water
I am a woman and a mother and a good daughter
I don’t like boring people and routine procedures
I’m into laughter and people with crazy features
I love and hate silence all at once
I enjoy playing pranks and pulling crazy stunts
I’m the funniest person, and a great lover
However suffer inside like no other
I don’t forgive, I’m vengeful, I don’t recover
I’m to the wind and carefree and I don’t stress
But sometimes I kill myself with worry, I’m a hot mess
I think too much and at times not at all
I pick myself up every time I fall
If I cried and lost, I don’t recall
I have lived and loved, and have stood tall
Sometimes I think I haven’t lived at all
I am polar opposites all in one
I always feel like I have won
Everything I say has a pun
I am in chaos within me all the time
I feel like my life is an uphill climb
But in the same breath I feel blessed
I live my life to the fullest with so much zest

Longing is the beat of my heart
Unhappiness is the road from where I depart
Truth lingers underneath the ruble of lies
Everyday a part of me dies

Desire is the beat of my heart
While things I cannot change tare me apart
Inside a conflict arises so deep
The mountains I climb are ever so steep
This road I walk alone
In pursuit of happiness; of things to call my own

Challenge is the beat of my heart
I can see the victory from afar
Pounding in my chest for excitement of what’s to come
Leaving behind things that have left me undone

Victory is the beat of my heart
My life is the creators best work of art
Arriving at the destination of my hearts desires
All my life I have walked on fire
I arrive at the conclusion; happiness is a journey, not a destination
I could’ve avoided the confusion; it’s all in the outlook, the optics and visualization.

Written by: Kamylah A. Santana

My name is Truth
I am bold, untamed and in your face
The incarnation of a tainted youth
With piercing gaze your heart I lace
I may hurt but I don’t deceive
I might make you angry or make you grieve
I am purposeful in what I do
Even so, I exist for your good

My name is Vengeance
I am the desire to get you back
I return you to your insignificance
I’m incomplete if I don’t attack
I thrive on stooping down to your level
It feels great to cause you pain and make you shrivel
That you may feel what I have felt
These are the cards that you’ve been dealt
I have no regrets in my actions and aims
With me you will learn never to play games

My name is Humility
I am the capacity to put myself in your shoes and apologize when I’m wrong
I am a place where you can belong
I am understanding in the midst of confusion
I am a heartfelt profusion
There is no exclusion or ill intent
I can put my head down and still be content

My name is Irreverence
I am the lack of respect for your bullshit
I am the perseverance to resist your interference
Above all, I am legit
I don’t give a shit
I don’t adhere to societal rules and expectations
I don’t mind confrontations
I long for understanding
I am the master of misunderstanding
I do all the commanding
I am discontent if I am under someone’s thumb
For the most part, I am numb

My name is Spiritual
I’m no holy roller and I don’t think myself godly
However, the creator, I always hope to embody
In the midst of my imperfections, I try
God is a force strong within me, I cannot deny
I pray and I worship and I give Him the glory
Whether things are good or bad, He’s a part of the story
I look to Him for guidance and comfort
I speak to Him every night before I slumber
He’s the answer to all my questions
I know He loves me in all my imperfections

My name is Hope
I am the looking forward of good things to come
I keep my head held high when things come undone
I press forward when I don’t have strength
I keep sadness and disappointments at arms length
I keep my focus and make positive changes
I look forward to good exchanges
I keep people who are uplifting and don’t put my head down
With the assurance that things will one day turn around

My name is Intelligence
I know what is right and wrong
Never faltering to ambivalence
I’m calculating and pensive
I am very comprehensive
I know when to be offensive and defensive
My vocabulary is extensive
My brain never shuts off
If you try to outsmart me, I scoff
Extremely underestimated
Very motivated
I March to the beat of my own drum
Never under anyone’s thumb
I go for what I want
Sometimes I do it with a front
I am very wise
Sometimes I use a guise
I don’t tend to take advice
I am knowledgeable above the rest
In terms of processes, I am the best
I think ahead and I plan
I dare you to outsmart me; I don’t think you can

Written by: Kamylah A. Santana 

“I am divine and graceful. A majestic statue of love, sculpted by God. And formed with ardor. The soul of the most beautiful flower, of the most active fragrance. Preferred, in this life, by the hummingbirds. If God would grant me clemency in this ambiance. I am light, formed in an exuberant screen of beauty. Your heart speared into mine. Nailed and crucified on the cross of your heaving chest.

I am the ideal way. A magisterial statue. Oh perennial soul of my first love, sublime love. I am the sovereign flower of God. I am God’s creation. That which in every heart I come across, I bury a love. I am Laughter, faith and pain. A fragrant sandalwood, and full of flavor. I am voices as doleful as a dream in bloom. I am a star in the milky way, and mother of royalty. In short, I am all that is beautiful in all the splendor of holy nature.

Pardon me, but I confess that I know that you will always love me. I am a flower that your chest cannot stand but explode with the pounding of your heart. The uncertainty of a love that makes your heart languish in waiting to conduct me, one day, to the altar. Swearing at the foot of the Almighty in moving prayers moved by pain, as you receive the anointing of my gratitude. After redeeming my desires of a cloud of kisses. After wrapping me until all your suffering fades.”

This is how I feel. I love myself to the death, and one day someone will love me so. I love myself intensely, and this is how I want to, one day, be loved by a man. I want to be everything to someone one day. I want this someone to love me, respect me and honor me. This is my hearts deepest desire.

“EU sou divina e graciosa, estátua majestosa
Do amor, por Deus esculturada
E formada com ardor
Da alma da mais linda flor de mais ativo olor
Que na vida é preferida pelo beija-flor
Se Deus me fora tão clemente aqui neste ambiente
De luz, formada numa tela deslumbrante e bela
Teu coração, junto ao meu lanceado
Pregado e crucificado sobre a rósea cruz do arfante peito teu

EU sou a forma ideal, estátua magistral
Oh alma perenal do meu primeiro amor, sublime amor
Eu sou de Deus a soberana flor
Eu sou de Deus a criação
Que em todo coração sepulta um amor
O riso, a fé, a dor em sândalos olentes cheios de sabor
Em vozes tão dolentes como um sonho em flor
Sou láctea estrela, mãe da realeza
Sou tudo enfim que tem de belo
Em todo resplendor da santa natureza

Perdão se ousas confesar-me, tu heis de sempre amar-ME
Oh flor, meu peito não resiste
Oh meu Deus, o quanto é triste
A incerteza de um amor que mais me faz penar em esperar
Em conduzir-me um dia ao pé do altar
Jurar aos pés do Onipotente em preces comoventes
De dor, e receber a unção da minha gratidão
Depois de remir meus desejos em nuvens de beijos
Depois de envolver-me até meu padecer de todo fenecer.”

É assim, como as letras dessa musica, que eu tomei a liberdade de mudar um pouco, que eu me sinto. Eu me amo. Alguém um dia vai me amar assim. Quero ser intensamente amada por um homem, assim como eu me amo intensamente. Quero ser tudo para um certo alguém. Quero que ele me ame, me respeite, e me honre. Esse é o desejo do meu coração.

Dear Men, 

If you want us women to be angels, first you must give us heaven. Angels do not know how to live in hell. 

Sincerely, 

Kamylah